Look in your wardrobe. How many cow costumes do you have? Three? Seventeen? 972? Whatever the number is, it’s simply not enough. One can never have enough cow costumes. Just think about all those times a cow costume came in handy.
There was that cow costume at the 2007 Halloween-Christmas party. Yeah, that was a legendary party and the costume helped you meet your significant other. Then, there was the time your cow costume saved another cow from getting tipped over in a field.
Of course, you got tipped over instead but it was for a good cause.
The point is, you never know when a cow costume will come in handy. Hopefully, that persuaded you to go online and buy a cow costume right now but just hold on a second. This is not something for amateurs.
You need an expertly crafted list of the best cow costumes ever made. Thankfully, this is the exact place to look. So sit down, buckle up and start taking notes. You’ll need them.
Is it a cow? A dalmatian? Is it a milk leopard? Do you even know what a milk leopard is? If you answered “yes” to any of those questions then you are simultaneously right and wrong. How does that feel?
Yeah, of course, it feels great. However, it doesn’t feel as good as this costume. There’s just nothing like being wrapped in a thick layer of polyester and plastic. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the feeling of royalty.
Royalty. It’s the stuff of dreams. But you will never feel it, will you? Probably not, but you can come darn close with this costume. The secret is all in the tie. How many cows do you know that wear a tie?
The correct answer is one. You. It’s time to class up the cow costume scene. Gone are the days of goofy, cow bells and what not. This cow costume is for the dignified and regal.
If you want to join these special ranks, then this is a great place to start. If not though, stick around because there are plenty of other options.
For every one person that takes their cow costumes seriously, there are about 200 that just want to joke around. Fortunately for these goofers, gaffers, goopers and goobers, there are plenty of options on this route. Take Rubie’s Comical Cow Costume for example.
While it may just look like every other plastic, hand washable cow costume that you see every day, it’s far from that. This thing has the full package. Face, body, tail, gloves and yes, even udders.
Udders are the most important part of any comical cow costume. So many cow costumes leave out the udders because it offends people. Well, that’s the point of the udders. You want to offend people.
Those who aren’t offended will find great pleasure in pulling, tugging, biting and generally messing with each and every udder. You want your udders to utterly dominate the party. People will want you and cows will want to be you. You never realized the power of udders until now. Use them wisely.
Now that we’ve moved on to the goofball’s and udder addicts, let’s enter a zone for the casual cow enthusiast. You know who you are. The laid back, cow admirers. You want to show your adoration for cows but not without sacrificing too much. If that’s the case, then look at this plush cow head hat.
Some people will stop at nothing to get their cow fix. They even go as far as to sacrifice comfort. While that’s fine and dandy for some people, not all cow lovers are so enthusiastic. This cow hat rests firmly and comfortable atop the head.
It looks great, feels great and smells great. Well, it might not really smell great. That all depends on your head. The smell won’t matter though when you have this thing on. Cow addicts will admire your subtle homage to nature’s greatest beast and those new to the scene will feel inspired by your chillness.
Until now, all the cow costumes we’ve touched upon are cute, cuddly, or comedic. We leaving out one vital “c” however. Creepy cows are real. Sorry to break it to you but it’s the gosh darn truth. Creepiness comes in all forms. There are creepy cats, creepy kids, creepy flowers and even creepy slices of pizza if you stare at one long enough. That being said, creepy cows are no different.
So, since they exist, it’s our responsibility as human beings to represent creepy cows with a costume. This particular cow mask is made from 100% latex that is non-toxic to the environment. It’s even comfortable and breathable. That way, while your freaking people out with your surrealist humor, you won’t be passing out due to lack of oxygen.
Perhaps the creepiest part of this mask is the details. Much like the pizza mentioned earlier, if you stare at this mask long enough, you’ll get an odd feeling. One of extreme discomfort and paranoia. It’s wonderful feelings like that that give us a reason to wake up in the morning.
Have you ever looked down at your socks and said “I wish I had these on my entire body.” Of course, you did. If you’ve never said that, then it’s time for a serious reality check. For all the sane people out there demanding body socks, then sit down and take a breath. Your world is about to be flipped upside down.
Not only is this a high-quality, head-to-toe cow costume body sock, but it’s inflatable. Looking at all these previous cow costumes, one couldn’t help but realize how skinny they all are. While some of you city folk have never seen a cow in real life, others know exactly what a cow looks like.
They are not skinny. In fact, they are large and in charge. You can’t expect some skinny, college freshman to pull off a cow costume in all it’s realistic glory. Hence, the folks at Bodysocks made this one inflatable.
Now, you can prance around the party, prairie or post office in a big, fat cow costume. You will confuse a lot of people but at least they know you’re authentic. In an age where authenticity is being replaced by Instagram photos of rainbow bagels, it’s nice to know there are still some real folks out there. You can be one too.
This one is for the teenagers out there. For the “almost adults” that are just too cool for any and everything. Parents, jobs, school, classic rock, you name it and teenagers find it boring. Somehow they even find a way to be too cool for cows. Crazy right? Well if you are a rebellious teen and don’t want to go “full cow” then check this costume out.
It’s super casual and will get you mad street cred with the homies. Since it’s just a t-shirt, you can pull it off like it’s some ironic fashion style. Deep down inside though, you know the truth. Don’t be ashamed of your cow love. Someday, when you’re older, you will fully embrace the cow but for now, keep it low key with this sweet cow tee.
Cow costumes are a family affair. Every man, woman, child, dog, man, and woman should get in on the fun. That’s not always so easy though. If only there was a baby costume for cows. Oh, wait, of course, there is!
There is nearly a baby costume for everything out there. The poor little humans have no say whatsoever in this but that’s what they get for being a baby. Babies just get to chill for a few years without a single stress in the world. The least we can do for revenge is dress them up in ridiculous cow costumes like this one.
The thing is though, your baby might actually like this one. It’s designed with style and comfort in mind. This cozy cow romper features a nice inner leg closure for those quick diaper changes and non-skid shoes.
That way, your kid can poop and run freely in perfect harmony. Those are two things that should never be taken for granted. As an added bonus, these costumes are just too cute. Just one look at this cow baby will melt even the toughest of hearts. Yes, even you Vladimir Putin.
So the Haloween party ended three days ago but you still don’t want to take your cow costume off? What’s a cow lover to do? Well, it would be weird if you wore a cow costume around every day but there are loopholes.
Oh, there are loopholes. Instead of pretending to dress like a cow, you need to just become the cow. Let the cow take over your personality and style. Let’s say you like yoga for example. By incorporating these cow print leggings, you can express your cow love without sacrificing your reputation in the yoga studio.
It doesn’t just stop at yoga either. You can wear these leggings doing any sort of physical activity. Heck, you can wear them even when you’re not doing a physical activity. The point is, they are high-quality, comfortable and have an amazing digital cow print on there.
Now, the celebration of the great cow will never die. You can even wear them under other pants so you can discreetly rep the cow.
Let’s talk real talk for a second here. Cow costumes are just not that beautiful in real life. They are either creepy, comical or just downright weird looking. There are a time and place for those things but there is also a time for looking good. Cow costumes are capable of bringing out the true beauty of a person. In this particular case, this person is a woman.
As you can see by the picture, this cow costume looks darn good. It’s classy with a bit of an edge to it. It’s ideal for parties, the carnival or just about anything really. The right person could pull this off in any situation. Thanks to the fine folks over at Smiffy’s, we can now confidently put the “cow” back in “beautiful.” Just roll with it alright?
What happens when you combine a hat, scarf, gloves and a cow all in one? Well, there is no official name for it but you get this thing right here. This comfortable, winter cow hat is perfect for the indecisive person.
If you happen to be one of those people that can never decide what winter clothes to wear, just grab this one and it covers all the bases! Best of all, it has a cow for a head. Just try to think of something better than this. Go ahead, just try.
We’ve been quite biased today with the cow costumes. As you can see, the majority of these cow costumes are black and white. While, yes, that is certainly the classic cow pattern, where are all the brown cows representing?
Hence, we will end on a positive note wit this brown cow, bull plush mascot costume. Not only is it brown, but it’s incredibly advanced. The costume includes a bull headpiece that tucks into the suit for full neck coverage.
This cow costume is for the purists out there. The ones that really care about authenticity. This is an especially good costume to promote a sports team, business or event. If you’ve ever wanted to become a mascot (and surely, you’ve wanted to) there is no better time than now.
Did this a-moo-zing article tickle your funny bone? Then check out some of our other wonderful posts:
- 10 Cow Toys You Have To Check Out
- 11 Monkey Costumes You Need To See
- 15 Bear Costumes You Will Love
- 15 Cute Frog Toys You Need To See
- 13 Frog Jewelry Pieces You Will Love