Pigs. Some people eat them. Some people don’t. However, one thing we all have in common with the pig is no one really plays with them. Sure, you get the odd person here or there but generally speaking, people don’t play with pigs.
That’s because the media portray’s them as wretched, smelly, dirty beasts that exist only to eat and roll in the mud. That’s far from the case though. Pigs are wonderful creatures that deserve a little respect. They deserve to be played with. So what are you waiting for? Dig in and roll amongst the pigs!
It’s quite possible that some of you out there still think you’re too good for pig play. That’s ok. No one is here to judge. However, there is a solution for you. Take some time and get to know the pig toy. Similar to a real pig in physical qualities, the pig toy has some key differences.
For one, it’s not alive. Secondly, it’s clean, sometimes cuddly, and above all fun to play with. Before you go rushing to the nearest pig toy store though, take a moment and check out these options that someone so graciously took the time to prepare for you.
Multi-action. Battery operated. Soft and furry pink ears. Walks, talks, “oinks” and moves its curly tail. Without even telling you the answer, what do these words describe? If you guessed a robotic Donald Trump, you’re not all that far off. Political humor aside, the real answer is our good friend Pudgey.
Pudgey is a piglet, but not your average piglet. It’s fake and by fake, that means not real. Crazy to believe but it’s not a real pig. Real pigs don’t have lovable pig fur. Nor do they require batteries to operate.
That’s neither here nor there though. This a nice toy for the casual pig fan. It won’t smell unless you spill burnt milk all over the poor thing and never clean it. Yes, you can burn milk. Look it up.
Coming fresh off a discussion about stinky pigs, we have our next toy the “Stinky Pig Game”. You don’t need burnt milk to make this toy stinky though. It’s all natural baby. Now, the objective of this game is a little vague. What we do know are a couple key facts.
If you poke the stinky pig belly, the pig starts to sing. Why it sings is anyone’s guess but perhaps it’s to distract the player from the inevitable doom that’s soon to come. Then, you roll the dice to tell which way to pass the pig.
After that, the player has to get past the pig before it farts. If it farts on you then congratulations, you get a token. The game might not make much sense, but at least we know where the “stinky” part of the “stinky pig game” comes from. For those people that want a cleaner pig toy, then continue on to number three.
Perhaps the most frustrating part about pigs is they are a bad influence on children. Kids watch pigs on the television and cinema screen all the time. Very rarely do you get a role model pig. Usually, they are dirty, carefree creatures. Before you know it, your kid never wants to bathe again because guess what? The pig doesn’t bathe either.
Well, with this toy everybody wins. Children get to play in the bath with pigs while simultaneously learning that pigs take baths, so baths must be cool. If that wasn’t enough, these little swimming piglets even squirt water. A new problem may now arise. Good luck getting your kids out of the bath now.
Dogs are people too. They run, eat, poop and pee just like the rest of us. So don’t they deserve a chance to frolic and play in the dirt along with all the other humans? Of course, they do. Why do we get to hog all the great pig toys? Dogs love pigs just as much as the next guy and you love your dog just as much as the next guy. So you owe it to Fido.
There are three things dogs like most in this world: Treats, latex, and pigs. This pig toy has two out of three but those odds are good enough for success. The double latex exterior ensures your pooch won’t break the outer shell of this colorful pig. Furthermore, it even grunts when squeezed. Gather the family round and watch your little dog bark in confusion at this lifeless toy.
There’s nothing cuter than watching a dog stress out over a sound that it can’t wrap it’s small brain around. Just think of all the good times you and Fido will have with this toy. If all else fails, just stack the pigs on top of each other like the picture. It looks kind of cool.
Everyone sit down. It’s back. For those unfamiliar with the greatness of Hog Wild products, then let this be a grand introduction. Take some time and examine this particular toy for it is ingenuity in the flesh.
Essentially, it’s a ball gun disguised as a pig. By simply stuffing the ball into the pig’s mouth and squeezing, you can now shoot the ball across the room at all your friends. The harder you squeeze, the harder the ball shoots. This baby goes up to 20 feet so it’s not for the faint of heart.
Also, unlike so many other toys out there on the market, this toy is completely battery free. It uses clean, green, sustainable air to power itself. Not a fan of pigs? That’s ok. Hog Wild makes these crazy toys in a variety of animal styles and if you want to carry them all around with you, Hog Wild was even nice enough to include a carrying net.
If more companies in the world were like Hog Wild, the Israel-Palestine conflict would have ended 23 years ago and Michael Jordon would still be playing basketball.
Remember how we mentioned that pigs are role models for children? Well, that fact is still true. Kids love pigs. It’s one of the “10 Truths of Life.” Sure, you could try your hardest to keep the kids away from the pig influence but that could backfire on you. Remember when society tried to say rock music was the devil? What happened? Well, rock and roll certainly didn’t stop. That’s for sure.
The point of all this meandering about is to embrace the love for pigs. Whether it’s your love, your kid’s love, your children’s love or your Uncle Scott’s love, embrace it. One easy way to embrace the pig is to become the pig.
Since getting overweight is dangerous to your health, just slap on one of these pig noses instead. Suddenly, that normal human face of yours transforms into a beautiful pig.
Included inside are 12, identical pig noses. The whole crew can deck out in pig gear and cruise the streets representing their pig love. You might even start a new trend. Crazier trends have happened in the past. Like Dubstep music or doughnut hamburger buns.
When someone spells “crazy” like “cra-z” then you know they mean business. So lend an open ear to this next toy. It might just look like a pig-themed manga doodle playset to average people like you and me. However, for the true pig lovers out there, this toy represents infinite possibilities.
It’s an interactive learning experience that helps encourage fun, imagination, and creativity! You can create endless artistic creations with this toy and best of all, you are not limited by location. It’s small and portable meaning you can bring this toy with you wherever you go.
Go ahead, just try to bring it everywhere. See what happens. If anyone seriously has an issue with a portable, artistic pig toy, then their anger is seriously deep rooted. Avoid them at all costs if possible.
All that talk about pig’s being role models is still relevant. What started out as weird and unfunny joke is starting to manifest itself into reality. Perhaps kids really do look up to pigs? If they didn’t, then why are toy makers putting pigs in all of these human-like situations?
Take this toy for example. It’s a school bus but with a pig inside. Pigs don’t really go to school. We all know that. So why put them on a bus?
See, if we put a little human into that bus, that wouldn’t be nearly as fun or interesting for the kid. When they see a pig going to school on this bus with a bunny bus driver, their entire world gets flipped upside down. Suddenly, they live in a world where animals drive machinery and pigs fill their heads with knowledge.
This is the world they want to live in. This is exciting. Add a few songs and sounds to this bus and what you have is an unstoppable imagination machine that will blow a child’s tiny little brain. If only they made things like these for adults.
Peppa pig is such a good role model that we are going to continue talking about her for this toy. Not only does Peppa go to school like a good little pig, but she is also part of a loving family. Included in this set are Peppa, her brother George and of course, mommy and daddy pig. Together, they make a perfect little pig family that teaches us about teamwork and love.
When a family is strong, it can accomplish nearly anything. Whether you are in a human family, pig family, or Kardashian family, the lesson here is to stick together. Friends might come and go but family is forever. Just look at Peppa Pig.
She went to school, grew up in a loving family and now sells herself to millions of pig loving kids around the world. She is a global icon and that’s all because she grew up in a good family. Either that or the marketing department behind this toy is top notch.
Ok, after all that inspirational Peppa Pig talk, it’s time to sit down and relax for a second. Here, take this chair and unwind. Wait! What’s that? My gosh. It’s Peppa Pig once again. We can’t escape her charm nor her expert marketing team! Well, we can’t seem to avoid Peppa today so let’s just embrace it.
As you can see here, Peppa has taken the form of a children’s camp chair. Now, you can sit in your Peppa camp chair while playing with your Peppa toys and wearing a toy pig nose. People might look at you strangely for your strange pig obsession but don’t mind them.
They obviously don’t understand the power of Peppa. Peppa isn’t just a toy, she’s a way of life. She teaches the importance of school, family and above all, chairs. Chairs help us relax. They help us overcome the stresses of daily life.
In a chair, we can ponder upon the complexities of our existence. We can overcome anything in a chair and we have Peppa Pig to thank for it all.
Seeing as Peppa Pig touched us all today, it’s only fitting we end this whole charade in her honor. With this particular “toy”, Peppa Pin once again teaches us a valuable life lesson. Yeah, a toothbrush isn’t exactly a toy but without healthy teeth, toys don’t even matter.
Hence, by brushing your teeth, you can lead a healthy life to enjoy all the other Peppa Pig products out there (and there are certainly enough to keep someone busy). So let’s conclude this all with a big thanks to Peppa. The pig (and voice of) a generation.
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