Halloween is rolling around quickly and with it comes ghosts, ghouls, witches, and hordes of candy. We all know the feeling of getting home after a long night of trick-or-treating to look through your bag of goodies.
Once you throw out the snacks bars that the “health nuts” on the street give you and the apple or toothbrush that your local Dentist hands out, it’s time to really look at your haul.
There are so many varieties of candies and types ranging from chocolate to gummies to hard candies that it is often hard to categorize the top ones.
However, it’s important to rank your candies before the trading begins! You need to get rid of those yucky bit-o-honeys and trade them for delicious Reese’s Cups or Snickers, right?
While everyone’s preferences are different, here are our 43 Halloween candies ranked from worst to best.
Jolly Ranchers Hard Candy are the type of candies that your cheap Chemistry teacher hands out when you get the questions right in class. Therefore, we’re sure that Norman with the coke bottle glasses who sits in the front row gets plenty of these.
They’re void of peanuts and chocolates so your teacher doesn’t have to worry about any nut allergies, which is probably why he buys them. While this is a safe bet for your teacher, on Halloween, they’re also a safe bet to rot away at the bottom of your candy bag.
Haribo Gummi Candy Gold-Bears. Is it just us, or do these look like they are packaged in a bag that is pulled out of a dump house by the DEA during a raid?
Regardless, chances are that you won’t get a 5 pound bag during your trick or treating endeavors, so that leaves us to wonder how these little bears will be dispatched.
In little sandwich baggies? That sounds REALLY legit, doesn’t it? We’ll pass on these Haribo Gold-Bears. Besides, everyone knows that Troli Gummi Worms are better anyways.
You really have to be in a special mood for Sour Patch Kids.
The type of mood where you don’t mind getting punched in the mouth by a sour blast. The type of mood where you don’t mind friends taking pictures of your pathetically puckered face. The type of mood where you don’t mind slipping into a sugar coma within minutes.
These Sour Patch Kids are just that, FOR KIDS. C’mon. Give us the good stuff.
With the countless candy bars and bags that you receive every Halloween, it is important to stockpile things. The thing about Tootsie Rolls is that unless you want to gnaw on chocolate that has hardened into a brick, you need to eat them right away.
The problem is that there are so many better types of candies out there, so it looks like you’ll be chomping on crunchy Tootsie Rolls when Thanksgiving rolls around. Just don’t pop a filling before you get to eat all the Thanksgiving turkey goodness!
We don’t know about you, but we absolutely LOVE getting gooey candy stuck in our molars. No? Just us? Oh. That’s why Swedish Fish fall so low on this list.
To be honest, the taste isn’t that great and no one wants to spend fifteen minutes trying to scrape the gooey candy mess from their teeth. Doctor Fred the Dentist from down the street would DEFINITELY not approve.
Ginger candy? Seriously? This is the type of shit that is thrown directly into the trashcan. There’s no chocolate, no nuts, no caramel or nougats and honestly, garbage belongs in the garbage. No one will want to trade for this so there’s really no need to keep it.
The ONLY bonus is that ginger helps soothe a stomachache, so it may be slightly beneficial to keep around for after you’ve eaten five pounds of candy.
Who gives away gum on Halloween? We want something that we can eat, and contrary to some peoples’ beliefs, you cannot eat gum.
While the curvy bottle is a neat feature, no one wants gum on Halloween. Seriously. Where’s the chocolate? The peanut butter? The caramel, nougaty goodness? Get this stuff outta here and bring us the good candy!
If you get a Butterfinger in your candy bag this year, be prepared to have a toothbrush and floss on hand. Oh, and also have a vacuum cleaner nearby.
These candy bars make a mess, scattering flaky peanut butter crumbs all over you and the area around you. Plus, they get seriously stuck in your teeth. We’ll pass on the Butterfingers this time around.
The Original Retro Sweets Candy Gift Box looks like something our parents might like, but nothing in there really interests us. You’ll try to throw it out before your parents stop you and reminisce about the one time they bought Rainbow Drops for 5 cents after school and shared them with their best friend Henry.
That’s great for your dad and Henry, but this is the 21st Century. On the bright side, these have some trade potential if your parents have any good candy stockpiled.
Nothing says grandparents like Werther’s Original Caramel Hard Candies. Be honest, how many of you actually like these and didn’t just eat them to humor your grandpa?
Chances are that these will sit at the bottom of your trick-or-treating bag wasting away. Who gives out hard candy caramels for Halloween? C’mon we need to get with it people!
You pull this out of your Halloween bag and get excited upon seeing the M & M’s logo, only for your smile to drop immediately. Peanut M & M’s? Do people actually eat these? Sure, your dad will like them, but this isn’t the good stuff that we are looking for!
M & M’s are nice and all, but we want more than just a little bag of chocolate. Where is the peanut butter? The caramel? Regular M & M’s are a one trick pony and we’re simply not buying it. Chances are this is a “fun size” bag so you’ll only get like 6 M & M’s anyways. It’s time to bring out the big guns! Hopefully you can trade this bag for something more intriguing.
Licorice is a specific taste that some people love, and other people hate. We’re quite firmly planted on the hate side of these soft little Raspberry licorice bites. First of all, why ruin licorice with a flavor?
And secondly, why would you bother giving these out over Twizzlers?
Quite frankly, it seems like an amateur move and whoever gave you these is likely a first time candy giver. All you can hope is that they’ll shape up by the time next year rolls around.
Smarties would be an excellent Halloween candy, if they actually did as advertised and made you smarter. Alas, they don’t and all they’ll give you in reality is a sugar rush.
They’re fine for little children that don’t appreciate the finer candies in life, but we’re not on the Smarties Bandwagon. Tell your neighbors to buck up and buy the candy bars next year.
Does anyone in the world actually like Runts? Seriously. This is a serious question. Who out there actually likes these nasty, hard little candies that taste of fake fruit and chalk?
If anyone out there likes Runts, I think we need to have a side conversation and set you straight. Anyone? No? Okay, that’s what we thought. Pass on the Runts this year and every year!
We’re on the right path with Rolos. They have chocolate and they have caramel and they are mixed together in these little bite sized candies. Still, something is missing.
We don’t want bite sized, we want full candy bar sized. Someone is cheaping out this Halloween and whoever you gave you these Rolos also probably buys their Christmas gifts at the Dollar Store. Beware.
We’re almost halfway through the list, but still haven’t gotten to the good stuff yet. Peppermints? Seriously? Whoever gave out little peppermints at Halloween should be accosted and shamed publicly.
Chances are that your neighbor just grabbed a few extra handfuls while leaving the Doctor or local Chinese restaurant and is just being cheap this Halloween.
While these peppermints are great to have before heading into an important work meeting, no one wants to see them in their candy bag during Halloween.
Reese’s Pieces are like the red-headed stepchild of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. They’re technically related, but don’t actually want to claim them. They’re okay flavor wise, but we want, and deserve more than these M & M’s wannabes.
If you got a box or bag of these little candies, try and pawn them off on your unsuspecting younger sibling this Halloween.
Now we’re getting somewhere! Who doesn’t love Trolli Brite Crawlers Gummi Candy Worms? For those who like gummi candy, these might be the best you can come by. Still, they don’t seem like “proper” Halloween candy.
We’re a bit suspicious of anyone who hands out bags of Trolli gummi worms. The sour aspect is definitely something to watch out for, though they’re not as bad as Sour Patch Kids.
Who hasn’t proposed to someone with a Ring Pop as a little kid? It didn’t matter if a boy proposed to a girl or a girl proposed to a boy, we’re sure that you’ve all seen it happen. While these Ring Pops may bring back a bit of nostalgia, chances are that you’ve passed that stage.
And guys, if you get a Ring Pop in your Halloween bag this year, DO NOT think your girlfriend would appreciate being proposed to with one. To save you from the temptation, trade your Ring Pop RIGHT AWAY.
Skittles are tasty and all, but they’re not Halloween caliber candy. Little “fun sized” bags won’t even put a dent in your candy craving and no one is giving away regular sized ones all night.
Besides, did anyone else notice that they changed the flavor of the green skittle from lime to green apple? NOT COOL, Skittles. Not cool. We’re keeping our eyes on you…
We’ve hit the halfway point on our list and it is safe to say that fact is obvious with Twix falling here on the list. This delicious chocolate, wafer and caramel candy is definitely worth keeping this Halloween.
It’s yummy in the tummy and two come in a pack, so you can even share! Who are you kidding? There’s no way you’ll share! It’s a nice thought though…
Now that we’re over the halfway hump, you know that these candies are starting to get better and better. Get your telescope and zoom in on this Milky Way bar to see its awesomeness.
Chocolate and caramel collide in this galaxy of magical, yummy goodness. If you land one of these in your treat bag, don’t even think about trading it!
Is there anything on earth that is as fashionable and delicious as a candy bracelet or necklace? You would be hard pressed to find something and honestly, we’re not sure that anything better actually exists!
Plus, you can wear them around and snack whenever you get hungry. Don’t worry about getting caught snacking in class by the sound of your candy bar wrapper, with candy bracelets, you can snack in secret.
If you want a fool proof way to get a sugar high and have your tongue turn a crazy color, then you obviously need a Fun Dip. We’re not sure if the delicious sugar or the yummy stick is actually better, but all in all Pixie sticks have nothing on Wonka’s Fun Dip. Grab the dip stick and get eating before someone snags this winner out of your treat bag.
Sometimes we need a little bit of fruity flavor in our lives, which is why Hi-Chew makes the top end of the list. Coming in flavors like green apply, mango, strawberry, grape and cherry, this fruity little bites are a great way to get your daily dose of vitamin C.
Chocolates usually overwhelm your candy bag, so sometimes it’s nice to have a little break from it all. The classic Lemonhead is a great little piece of candy, but it is just that – little. No one wants just a handful of Lemonheads from a neighbor, so hopefully this comes with a King Size Kit Kat bar or handful of other candies.
However, if that is all you get, make sure you don’t let this candy put you in a sour mood!
Mike and Ikes are pretty classic, just like Lemonheads. They are fruity and come in a variety of flavors, but they can be pretty chewy and the younger generation just aren’t a big fan of them.
Still, we think they’re pretty delicious, especially if you need a fruity break from the chocolates, nuts and caramel in your trick-or-treat bags.
Snickers bars are pretty high up on this list, because let’s face it, they’re totally awesome! They come with chocolate, nougat and a layer of caramel and peanuts. Snickers pretty much have everything that you could want in a candy bar and they are the cream of the crop when it comes to Halloween candy.
These definitely aren’t any candies that you will be trading away when it comes down to it.
As we keep moving up the list, the candies keep getting more and more mouthwatering. A Kit Kat bar is the King of candy bars to some. They are milk chocolately and the wafers give it a nice, light crunch.
The best thing about a Kit Kat is that you can break it and half to share, but we’re sure you’ll probably keep them all to yourself. We don’t blame you!
3 Musketeers are unlike any candy bar out there. They are a fluffy whipped chocolate bar, covered in chocolate. These cannot be duplicated and definitely find themselves at the head of their pack.
Starburst Originals are a classic candy that nearly everyone craves. We love their fruity assortment of flavors and the juicy burst they have in your mouth.
The only time you should ever trade a Starburst, is if you get two nasty Cherry flavors in one pack. Orange and Lemon are where it’s at!
Nestle clearly hits a homerun with this Baby Ruth bar. This candy bar is chock full of caramel, chewy nougat and peanuts, giving you everything you want in a candy bar. This is type of candy bar that you need to keep a close eye on, because someone is bound to try and sneak it out of your trick-or-treat bag.
Better yet, you should probably eat them all the first night before anyone has a chance to nab it!
Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bars are pretty classic and a staple any Halloween. We know how delicious they are and they honestly cannot be beaten when it comes to milk chocolate. Though they come in a variety of variations, such as Cookies n’ Cream and Almond, the milk chocolate bars are the best of the best.
The classic Hershey’s Chocolate Bar simply cannot be debated. Hershey is King of the chocolate world and whether you eat it plain, melt it or stick it in a S’more, Hershey’s is delicious year-round.
Another classic candy in Twizzlers Strawberry Candy twists. While not everyone loves them, we think Twizzlers deserve to be towards the top of the list. They have been around for countless years, but we don’t expect them to last very long in your candy bag.
Almond Joys are full of coconuts, almonds and joy! These chocolate covered candy bars are perfect for any coconut or almond lover and chances are that you’ll be able to score a few in a trade since not everyone likes them.
We’re not sure what kind of company you’re keeping if they don’t like Almond Joys, but hey, we’re not here to judge…
This one might seem a bit out there, but hear us out! The great thing about getting a Clif Builder’s Cookies n’ Cream Protein Bar is that you can eat it mid-trick-or-treating and it will give you all the energy you need to keep going.
If you haven’t gotten the ever sought after King Sized candy bar, then this Clif Builder bar might be just what you need to persevere.
Is there anything more classically American than a Twinkies bar? These things are made of a creamy filling and awesomeness. They are light as air and won’t fill you up so much that you can’t continue devouring the rest of your candy bag.
We LOVE the airy Twinkies bar and we’re not sure we want to be friends if you don’t too!
Airheads are a great addition to any candy bag. With a plethora of fun flavors, these candies are enjoyed by airheads and geniuses alike.
Rest assured that just because you eat an Airhead candy bar, does NOT mean that you will become an airhead. However, if you are an airhead already…we can’t make any promises there!
Munch…munch…munch. Don’t mind us, we’re just enjoying a Crunch…bar. Okay, so we might not be great at rhyming, but we know that a Crunch bar is one of the best that money can buy!
The delicious chocolate and crisped rice candy bars are often imitated, but never SUCESSFULLY duplicated. Make sure that you keep a close eye on your Nestle Crunch bar.
Is there anything better than pay day? Oh…sorry…we meant PAYDAYs, the delicious peanut and caramel candy bars. While pay day might be the only thing better than PAYDAYs, these still make the top of our list. The peanut crunch simply cannot be beat.
Heath English Toffee bars are filled with toffee and magic. They are crisp and covered in chocolate and you are going to need to fend people off. It doesn’t matter if you have one of these candy bars or ten, people are going to want to take them from you. Make sure that you guard your bag heavily. We suggest maybe sleeping with them under your pillow, but that’s just a suggestion.
Here it is. Are you still with us? If you are, you obviously have been scrolling, waiting to find your favorite candy bar, which is obviously Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. These simply cannot be beat. No other candy comes close and if you get your hands on a coveted Reese’s, then you better eat it immediately. Savor every bite, because Halloween only comes along once a year!
That sums up our legendary Halloween candy list! Do you agree with the order we’ve put them in? Do you need to voice your rage over what a disastrous choice we’ve made? Did we miss out your favorite candy? Then let us know in the comments below!
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